Funny Definitions

Intaxication (n.): Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Giraffiti (n.): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm (n.): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the Person who doesn't get it.

Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

Gargoyle, n. Olive oil-flavored mouthwash.

Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.