funniest things on a resume

20. “I have a known track record and excellent experience with accurancy and fixing erors”
19. “Strong Work Ethic, Attention to Detail, Team Player, Attention to Detail”
18. “My experience include filing, billing, printing and coping”
17. “Demonstrated ability in multi-tasting.”
16. “My work ethics are impeachable.”
15. “I have nervous of steel.”
14. “I consistently tanked as top sales producer for new accounts.”
13. “I am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.”
12. “Dear Sir or Madman,”
11. “I can type without looking at thekeyboard.”
10. “Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.”
9. “I am anxious to use my exiting skills”
8. “Speak English and Spinach”
7. “I am a Notary Republic”
6. “I attended collage courses for minor public relations”
5. “Following is a grief overview of my skills.”
4. “I’m attacking my resume for you to review.”
3. “I am experienced in all faucets of accounting.”
2. “Hope to hear from you, shorty.”
1. “Directed $25 million anal shipping and receiving operations.”